This is very good advice, I promise you. Some you might
think is common sense, but WLS can mess with your brain (stupid hormones!) or
you might think it’s funny now, until you ignore me, then you’ll remember this
entry and smack yourself in your head (please take pictures of that!)
Disclaimer: My sense
of humor is somewhere between sarcastic and irreverent, in no way is this meant
to be mean, I’m not yelling when I use caps, just stressing the importance of
these points. People who know me will think this is hilarious and even hear my
voice in their head as they read it (you crazy kids!), and while this info is
very important and you are about to or have undergone a major lifestyle change,
you can still have fun and be zany, it keeps the neuroses and insanity at bay.
Let’s start with the DO NOTs:
1.
DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF WHEN YOU GET HOME FROM THE
HOSPITAL! Yeah, it’s tempting to see if you lost anything during your operation
or the day they made you fast, but do not do it. Lock up your scale before you
go in for your procedure and do not break it out again until after at least 1
week. Why? Why?! Why would anyone tell you that? You just had weight-loss
surgery you want to see the results, right? WRONG. While you are in the hospital
you are getting pumped full of IV fluids, these have weight, you will be
heavier than when you went in, and then you will cry or get discouraged or get
frustrated. It’s not worth it, lock up the scale until your first check-up. Let
your first post-surgery weigh-in be with your doctor.
2.
Do not stock pile vitamins and protein powders before
surgery, especially for those of you having RNY Gastric Bypass Surgery YOUR
TASTES WILL CHANGE! Everything is too sweet at first, things you loved your
entire life will make you want to gag, but in 3 months it could change again,
every day is a learning curve. Try things before surgery to get an idea of what
is tolerable, but do not stock pile. There are protein powders and RTD shakes
EVERYWHERE, I have faith you can find them even in a pinch. My RTD shake of
choice in the first few months was EAS AdvantEdge carb control. It’s thin and
goes down the poor swollen guts nicely (you may hate it, but it’s the only
thing I liked and now I love almost all of everything, I’m a freak) and it’s
not strongly flavored. Costco has a thicker RTD shake, made by Premier Protein,
which is awesome and PP will send you samples if you ask them nicely (more on
that in the DO section).
3.
DO NOT GULP, you may need to relearn how to drink… even
if you feel “normal” again, your insides can stay swollen for up to 12 weeks.
Drinking will not always be as slow and painful as it is early on. One day you’ll
be drinking and it’ll go down normal and you’ll worry you broke your pouch, you
didn’t, the swelling just went down and you have more space.
4.
Do not fall into the “Last Meal Syndrome” trap. It’s
true, you won’t be able to eat the same way, its not possible, besides, if the
amount of food you consume today is non-negotiable, then your weight tomorrow
also will be. That said, you can still eat things you love, so don’t go on a
binge before surgery because someone told you that you’d never be able to eat
it again. They lied, or it’s a problem food for them and they assume it will be
for you too. Whatever. It’s true about the alcohol, you shouldn’t have that for
the first year (do not mess this up!) and the smoking, but you’re trying to get
healthier through WLS… why do you need to get drunk and smoke? Not healthy.
Cross-addictions
can be nasty, evil stepchildren, avoid them at all costs, take your first year
to establish better, healthier choices and the rest will follow. But back to “You’ll
never be able to eat ____ again”. Well one, how important is it? Two, you can
still have it, just not nearly so much. Three, if you can’t stop eating it in
unhealthy amounts, maybe you should avoid it. But otherwise, all things in
moderation, my pets, moderation is your new watchword.
Oh I’m sure there are more, but we’ll leave it there for
now.
Onto the JENNA SAYS TO DO THIS List:
1-
To my bra wearing friends, I have one very important
bit of advice for you WATERPROOF BANDAIDS. So now you’re probably WTF?! Trust
me, you will want them the first time you wear a bra after surgery. One of your
incisions is going to be annoyingly under that stiff piece of fabric connecting
your bra cups. Nope, my surgeon wasn’t just perverse, all my friends who have
had surgery have whined about bra chafing their incision. So tell them to suck
it up and deal with a little pain? Do you have any idea how dirty bras can be?
Just keep in the incision covered when wearing a bra, it will reduce your risk
of the site getting infected.
2-
Fill up your pain pill/syrup (weee!) prescription.
Between the hospital and home the morphine may still be doing its job and
everything will be hunky dory, until it wears off and then you might start with
the screaming. Even if you can tough it out, it’s better to have it on hand,
just in case. Do beware of prescription drug cross addictions though. Use as
needed, not for recreation.
3-
Consider alternating sleeping accommodations,
especially if your bed is low to the ground, some people just roll in and out
of bed and that works for them, but me? I slept in our recliner for the first
week. You’ve had stomach surgery, you use your stomach muscles to get up and
down, darnit. Use caution.
4-
Do get as many samples as you can and hold them until
after surgery, this includes chewable vitamins and proteins. Try them one at a
time see how it tastes, if your new body likes it. You want chewable or liquid
for the first three months (or longer up to you) and you have options.
Celebrate Vitamins is in OH, I live in WV I get my stuff next day (they even
deliver on Saturdays depending on the carrier), haven’t used Bariatric
Advantage, but I like some of their stuff, I get it from Nashua Nutrition in
Vermont, 2 days. Check out the list on my blog (first entry) to see who you can
get samples from, it’s shockingly easy, they want you to try their stuff because
they believe you will love it. They don’t stalk you for months afterward asking
you to place an order either.
5-
Do be conscious of your fiber intake. A lot of people
go extremely low carb after surgery, which is okay, just get in your 25gms of
fiber a day, okay? Add some fiber powder to your shakes (I use generic for
benefiber) or try the fiber choice tabs (actually quite yummy). I would advise
no expanding fiber for a while (Metamucil etc).
DO, Oh please,
DO!! DON’T-DO
NOT
Get comfortable with the kitchen Let fear hold you back
Use a food processor for puree stage Use store bought baby food
Keep track of your food intake Depend on dumping syndrome
Keep track of your measurements Let the scale dictate your life
Celebrate your victories Let
plateaus discourage you
Make friends with thrift stores Buy a lot of clothes in any one
size
Join a support group Be
afraid to ask for help
Okay, okay, done for now, I’m sure I’ll add to it, but I
should get some stuff done now. Take care of yourselves, you’re worth it!!!
